Jilted at the Altar

So, the night before last, I dreamed I left a woman just as we were about to be married.

Turns out, I was going to remarry my ex-husband.
At some point, I woke up or just dreamed I woke up, and thought, wait! I don't have to do that either!"








Even in my dreams, I'm pleased to say I save myself for Karen.

Dialing 911

"Hello...9-1-1 Operator? I'd like to report a camel, in my back yard. Yes, a camel. But I'm not too worried--it's a miniature camel, so I don't feel too unsafe. Thank you."

Je suis enseignant

Last night in Dreamland, I decided to make a little extra money by teaching French Immersion Classes.
Hey!
My 3 years of high school French should qualify me, oui?


So, in order to provide a more authentic experience for my students, I transformed our basement....

Into a souk.....

Tres cool, nes pas?
Teacher gets an A!!!

So, I Met the 'Rents

Last night in Dreamland, I finally got to meet Rachel's parents! I felt they finally approved of our relationship, and was so relieved. I passed the "intelligent sparring" test, and her mom was impressed with my witty retorts to her sharp-tongued barbs....
I really felt like we were going to be "allowed to take it to the next level", relationship-wise.
I'd never been to this part of California, and was eager to see the entire house she grew up in. She opened the door to her bedroom, and as I looked in....

I knew this was a deal-breaker! I could never stay in a room without a roof! She was so proud, and I was so...so...horrified.
No. Not even in California would this fly for me....

A Doozy!

Last night in Dreamland was a doozy! I was sent to a Library Conference in Aruba; no idea why, because I'm not a librarian. But hey, it's my dream and I can do what I want...
So, I went to Aruba to this Library Conference to learn how to pick out DVDs for a library (evidently it's harder than I thought!).
I shared a room on the 24th floor with 3 other women, but the room was huge! So big that some male librarians came up to our room and challenged the women to a friendly indoor soccer match. As we moved furniture aside to make room for the "pitch", and the men were looking pretty smug about their victory, I reminded them, "You guys know that most women librarians are lesbians, right?! And they will kick your ass." [Full disclosure--I don't know if that is a fact. But I do know that female librarians are tough. And would win....]
Before we got to play....and really, why weren't we all on the beach by now (oh, I forgot about the librarian's pasty white skin!)....it was time for lunch. And time to meet our entertainment for the evening...
Kate McKinnon.
Who thought I was cool and wanted to hang out with me.
Hey--it's my Dreamland!!

Cautionary Tale

via GIPHY

Just a short, cautionary tale:  If you put a crane on top of a building, do not drive said crane in a crazy manner. Especially if the crane is on top of the Morton Center.
The crane will fly off the roof and demolish the building across the street.
I saw this with my own eyes.Truth.

Olympian!

Congratulations to Anna, who rolled into medal competition with a stunning move as time ran out in the Synchronized Solitary Pool routine.
Anna, holding on to the large, white cooler that is the focus of this competition, made her move during the waning seconds of this timed event. Wearing her signature green and yellow life vest, Anna pushed her competitor out of the way, and literally rolled aboard the unsteady cooler. Holding on to the cooler with one hand, she waved a colorful, plastic-tasseled flag, and her competitor knew Anna had moved on to the finals.
We cannot wait to see what this extraordinary competitor has in store for us in the finals of the Synchronized Solitary Pool routine!