Hanging with the Family

Last night, I dreamed the whole family got together at an Airbnb. While the others started a fire in the fireplace, Peter gave me a gift he was really excited about a book: "Cowgirl Lesbian Poetry". I had to agree, it was very cool, and I couldn't wait to show Karen.
However, I decided to go for a walk first. I ambled along for 4 or 5 blocks, and then decided to turn around. Off in the distance, I could see a young woman, walking a....horse? Couldn't wait to tell Erika about that! No....it was a llama!!! Even better.
As I hurried back to the Airbnb, I realized I couldn't remember exactly what house it was. I tried the side door of one that looked sort of familiar. Nope. That house belonged to a guy and his (at last count) SEVEN cats. He explained to me that one of the cats had been outside, and he thought it had climbed a tree. He called the fire department, but, as usual, the cat came sauntering in just as the fire truck arrived. I slowly backed out of that house, because I could tell he was a talker, and I would be there all day. Besides, there were just too many cats!! Where were they coming from??
I started back down the street, and found the rest of the family coming toward me. We stopped on a bridge that crossed a lake (A lake? How did I miss that there was a lake behind our house?! Couldn't wait to get back and see the view!). As I started to tell Erika about the woman walking a llama, a huge flock of brown pelicans landed on the lake. We watched as they scooped up mouthfuls of....weeds???
I woke up just before the first pelican started to dump her "catch" on our heads....

Jilted at the Altar

So, the night before last, I dreamed I left a woman just as we were about to be married.

Turns out, I was going to remarry my ex-husband.
At some point, I woke up or just dreamed I woke up, and thought, wait! I don't have to do that either!"








Even in my dreams, I'm pleased to say I save myself for Karen.

Dialing 911

"Hello...9-1-1 Operator? I'd like to report a camel, in my back yard. Yes, a camel. But I'm not too worried--it's a miniature camel, so I don't feel too unsafe. Thank you."

Je suis enseignant

Last night in Dreamland, I decided to make a little extra money by teaching French Immersion Classes.
Hey!
My 3 years of high school French should qualify me, oui?


So, in order to provide a more authentic experience for my students, I transformed our basement....

Into a souk.....

Tres cool, nes pas?
Teacher gets an A!!!

So, I Met the 'Rents

Last night in Dreamland, I finally got to meet Rachel's parents! I felt they finally approved of our relationship, and was so relieved. I passed the "intelligent sparring" test, and her mom was impressed with my witty retorts to her sharp-tongued barbs....
I really felt like we were going to be "allowed to take it to the next level", relationship-wise.
I'd never been to this part of California, and was eager to see the entire house she grew up in. She opened the door to her bedroom, and as I looked in....

I knew this was a deal-breaker! I could never stay in a room without a roof! She was so proud, and I was so...so...horrified.
No. Not even in California would this fly for me....

A Doozy!

Last night in Dreamland was a doozy! I was sent to a Library Conference in Aruba; no idea why, because I'm not a librarian. But hey, it's my dream and I can do what I want...
So, I went to Aruba to this Library Conference to learn how to pick out DVDs for a library (evidently it's harder than I thought!).
I shared a room on the 24th floor with 3 other women, but the room was huge! So big that some male librarians came up to our room and challenged the women to a friendly indoor soccer match. As we moved furniture aside to make room for the "pitch", and the men were looking pretty smug about their victory, I reminded them, "You guys know that most women librarians are lesbians, right?! And they will kick your ass." [Full disclosure--I don't know if that is a fact. But I do know that female librarians are tough. And would win....]
Before we got to play....and really, why weren't we all on the beach by now (oh, I forgot about the librarian's pasty white skin!)....it was time for lunch. And time to meet our entertainment for the evening...
Kate McKinnon.
Who thought I was cool and wanted to hang out with me.
Hey--it's my Dreamland!!

Cautionary Tale

via GIPHY

Just a short, cautionary tale:  If you put a crane on top of a building, do not drive said crane in a crazy manner. Especially if the crane is on top of the Morton Center.
The crane will fly off the roof and demolish the building across the street.
I saw this with my own eyes.Truth.