Relaxing Weekend?

Last night in Dreamland, Kila, Marci, Peter, and I decided to rent a beach house for a relaxing weekend. We arrived to find a house that was jam-packed with stuff (bric-a-brac), but with a stunning view of the ocean, right on the beach. We had a great weekend. Until Sunday.

Sunday morning, we were relaxing before we had to pack and leave, when a man and a woman entered the house through the kitchen. We assumed, rightly so, that these were the owners. They looked surprised to see us still there, which annoyed me because we had until noon to leave! They grabbed some scuba gear, and left without much said to us. We packed, then decided to have breakfast at the local pub before getting our stuff out of the house and leaving.

We had a great breakfast, but overheard a few guys talking in the next booth. Turns out our "hosts" had a reason for grabbing that scuba gear--they were going to rob a bank of $30 million by entering the vault through an underwater tunnel!!

When we got back to the house, the robbery must have already taken place, because the house was packed! All of the "gang" were buff and mean-looking, including the men! We nonchalantly got our stuff, and my sister started "straightening up"--I guess she was worried about losing our security deposit?! I grabbed her arm and pulled her out the door.

We didn't seem to arouse suspicion, not even when we left in Marci's multi-level Partridge Family-esque bus!

Thank goodness I woke up. I didn't want to go to prison...again...not like two nights ago! But that's another story.

"Here, Talk to Kiki"

Last night in Dreamland, Karen and I decided to visit our favorite brewery/restaurant out in the country. We drove the truck out, and met up with Alayne and Crystal. Karen ordered a beer, and I got in line to do the same (sure, she can get hers delivered to the table while I have to stand in line for mine!). I placed my order, and the bartender mumbled something about going outside to get it. Turns out I had to walk over to their new trailer delivery system, which was about a city block away. I got in line, and told them what I had ordered--a new Texas beer, which had a snake on the tap. I waited and waited. Alayne came up and joined me in line, but eventually she wandered off in search of a bathroom. Before she left, she explained they were now using a "dry draught" system, which meant the beer line was surrounded by salt. I waited some more--about a half hour in all--and watched Anna, Kate, Sue, Kathi, and some others leave the brewery (the place was so big, we didn't even know they were there!).
I decided this beer was never coming, so I went back to our table...only to find that nobody was there! They had all left--without ME! I called Karen, and she said, rather drunkenly, "Oh yeah, I came home." When I asked if she could come and pick me up, she said, rather absentmindedly, "Oh yeah. But here, talk to Kiki." She dropped the phone, and I'm not sure what happened next.
All I know is that I woke up really angry, and very thirsty.....

Scary and White

Last night in Dreamland, Katie and I watched "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" (in the real world, I feel guilty for not having read the book this summer for our book group). We were drinking White Zinfandel while doing so--if you know Katie and I, this was a nightmare all the way around.

Get Them While You Can!

Last night in Dreamland,  Sherry was having a sale of her memorabilia, including her red flip flop, which”she only used while driving”. I think Sherry was taking advantage of her new-found notoriety as a famous.....well, that part has been lost to the fog of waking.

Protesting and Making Friends

Last night in Dreamland, Karen and I went to Battle Ground to protest the treatment of immigrants at the border. Apparently, the border with Mexico is only 2 blocks from downtown Battle Ground! The things you learn in Dreamland....
We were joined by our friend Crystal, and we decided to make some signs.
Crystal struck up a conversation with another woman in the room, who turned out to be none other than Kate McKinnon! As they chatted, I took it upon myself to introduce Crystal to Kate, and even I knew that was absurd:  "Kate, I would like you to meet Crystal, and Karen....oh yeah, and since you don't know me, I'm Gale." She asked me about my RoadID, wondering if I was diabetic, and then turned quickly back to Crystal and Karen, who was so shy she couldn't speak! Sensing that I was too...friendly? Boring?...Kate kept talking to Crystal about farming, and to Karen about anything she would respond to. The three of them marched the two blocks to the border, leaving me to dash hither and yon to try to find them.
I hope Crystal and Karen appreciate my dream!

But It's For the Chickens!

Last night in Dreamland, Anna, Kate, and I traveled to the farm for a tour and a Craft Show. Usually I avoid "crafts" like the  plague, and this place was jam-packed with "crafts". But on the way out, something caught my eye...
It was a blue-glazed piece of exquisite pottery--a small opening on one side with another piece that lead to a large glass "enclosure" (think asthma inhaler that leads to a glass bubble). The opening was lined with beeswax and it was clearly meant to be hung. I just had to find out what it was for!
"Well," the proprietor explained, "have you ever smelled the beak of a chicken? It smells like alcohol, doesn't it? Chickens, through their pecking habits, collect alcohol on their beaks. They need to get rid of it, to stay healthy, so I invented a way for them to do that--they peck the beeswax, and it pulls the alcohol off and up into the glass bubble."
This would be perfect for Marie, I thought. Beautiful and functional! I grabbed one and checked the price. $50!!! Well, Karen does love Marie... I took a photo of this work of functional art and texted it to Karen.
And then I woke up.
Sorry Marie. I think your chickens will just have to find another way to deal with their alcohol problem....

Thank You for Being A Friend

When you're eight months pregnant and have to move from your third floor apartment (to a nice, spacious house!), you are grateful that there are friends who are willing to help. Julie came to help with boxes, and Linda and Sherry CLEANED OUT THE FRIDGE!!! Embarrassing to have them do it (it was really gross), but very much appreciated.
When I woke up, I told Karen:  "We are never moving again." I am pretty sure I'm not up for getting pregnant again either!