I Suck Totally...in Australia!

 Last night in Dreamland, I was challenged...and failed...on many levels while vacationing in Australia.

 

 

 

 

 

We were vacationing with the families of pregnant Princess Diana, 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and pregnant Gal Gadot.

 

 

 

Hey, it was MY dream. So yeah, weird, but you already knew my mind was like that! 

Anyway, we were outside, it was warm, and the two women were giving endless interviews. They looked miserable, so I asked if I could help. I asked each one in turn if I could get them something to drink, and they both said, with relief, "Yes! Could you get me a glass of juice and a glass of [   ] <--no idea what they were asking for!

So I loaded my young son and his equally young friend in the car, and set off. I had no idea where there was a grocery store, and had no money, so we just drove straight down the road from the house we were staying at (which I thought was brilliant). My young son (about age 4) fortunately had his credit card with him, so we withdrew 100 Australian somethings (later to find out that was probably the equivalent of $500 but I digress).

There were NO grocery stores on this stretch of road, but we finally spotted a convenience store. I was only "going to be a minute", so I left the kids in the car and ran in. Oh yeah, I failed this motherhood test.

Fortunately the store was empty, so I begged the clerk to help me find that drink that pregnant women like. "OH!" she said, "You mean Gee! Pregnant women who can't drink alcohol love this stuff!" She took me to the section--there were about 15 flavors and 5 different varieties. I grabbed 3 or 4, grabbed some juice, and headed to the deserted check-out. Halfway through the checkout process, I remembered the kids in the car, and told the clerk I just wanted to grab some ice lollies too (figured Australia would be like England and call popsicles that). I ran over, grabbed the assorted pack, and when I got back to the checkout, it was of course jam-packed. I stood there waiting and waiting and waiting, then noticed the ice lollies in my hand were, while "assorted", all one color! I hoped they wouldn't melt while I waited (no thought to the kids in the car), knew I was failing pregnant Princess Diana and pregnant Gal Gadot, and was never so glad to wake up!

Even Karen, upon hearing the details of the dream, agreed I was a total failure in every respect in Australia.

Giraffes Are In It!

 So the title is not entirely...accurate....

Last night in Dreamland, I ran into Erika, who had just been to a huge party at the home of a wealthy person--it was packed [remember those good old days of packed parties?!]. She was telling me about a bedroom that...well...was packed full of adults having adult fun. Lots of adult fun! 

But she said she noticed, when every one of the adults was gone, there was a LOT of "giraffe print underwear" left behind.  

I know I am intrigued by what that might look like, and I know you are too, so here are some probable left-behind undies!

You're welcome....

 

Alaska, But Where? What a Doozy!

 

I'm sure that when my first words to Karen are, "Last night's dream was a doozy! And a two-parter!", she wishes we already had our COVID vaccinations so she could escape this house.

That being said, last night's dream WAS a doozy!

I dreamed that Peter and Anna moved to Alaska. He went first, to get established at the university. He was living in rooms at  graduate student housing, so nothing fancy. Good thing, because shortly after his arrival, he was attacked by a demon! He did what any sane person would do, and lured the demon to Indiana, so we all could help kill it. And we did!!

I decided to visit Peter in Alaska, but was taken aback by the holes in his door--left by demon slime. Wow, that was some acidy slime!

I woke up at that point, and thought, "I have to remember this one for my faithful readers!" Then I went back to sleep.

The second part of the dream exciting for a different reason. Erika decided she would join me in my visit with Peter. The first day there Erika was there, Peter had left for the university, and I thought Erika and I should do some sightseeing. But where were we??? I hadn't asked Peter the name of the city, and I think the university was called the University of Alaska, so that was no help. I wanted to do a whale watch, but didn't even know if we were close enough to the ocean to make that happen. Thank goodness Erika got out of the shower just then and could tell me where we were! [Nope, I don't remember where we were in Dreamland. Sorry, Marie!]

We were going to leave when people started trickling in to Peter's room to socialize. I didn't want to be rude, so made polite conversation with more and more people--about 10 in all. Then, one woman started into Peter's bathroom, to use the facilities. I stopped her, and said that she could use his bathroom--she could use her own. When she asked why, I reminded her that if you use a bathroom that is not yours, you could catch COVID or could transmit it that way. We kept socializing, and a second woman started to do the same thing, with the same results. At that moment, I came to my dream senses and said, "None of you have masks on!! Get out!"

And then I woke up, and thought, "That was a doozy of a dream!"

But What a View!

 

Last night in Dreamland, Blythe and I headed to a library convention of some kind in New York City. Blythe handled all the arrangements, and she got us a hotel suite with a fantastic view of the skyline! It was truly spectacular. I couldn't wait to get out on the town, but it was so hard to leave...the view! Blythe seemed to be waiting for someone, so I explored the hotel suite, exploring the two bathrooms, two bedrooms, and admiring the view.

Did I say that the view was amazing?!

Anyway, it turns out Blythe was waiting for the third person who would be sharing our room. I completely understood that--how else could we afford such a suite with a breath-taking view?

The third person arrived, and it was none other than Rudy Giuliani!!! Well....okay...I guess we really DID have to pay for the room (and, by the way, I had to share a bathroom with the guy!). Turns out, he wasn't such a bad guy after all. However, his wife (very young wife--22 at most) was a real know-it-all. She told us we couldn't possibly eat breakfast in the hotel--we could all have some kind of protein shake. 

Um..no. 

The waitress assured us all COVID-19 protocols would be followed, so we really enjoyed that breakfast! 

So Rudy?

And, I know this isn't Rudy. I figured you would rather see Kate-as-Rudy anyway.

The view was worth it.

Dreams During Pandemic--of Mansions and Dorms

 During these times, when so much is happening, and so much is required of us as good citizens and caring people, sometimes sleep is a welcome relief and escape. Some days, I would love to just turn around and get right back into bed and escape via a nap.

I don't know about you, but my dreams have been funnier. They also have involved masks--usually I am in a large crowd and forgot mine, or nobody has a mask but me.

Two dreams this week have been memorable.

First, I dreamed our friend Elizabeth asked us to spend a weekend with her. Three days, three of her houses. One home was a cabin in the woods; I don't think there was running water, and I KNOW I was miserable without a functioning toilet. But the view of the mountains was breathtaking. The second home was on the beach, and yay! I got to snorkel. But the third of her homes!!! It was in an older residential section of a city in Ohio. A whole bunch of our friends got to come along, and as we sauntered in in our jeans and t-shirts, we saw an entry pretty much like this one! And the house was full of very wealthy folks from nearby--all of whom were not pleased with the sight of us. At least WE were wearing our masks. 

 

The second dream made me laugh when I woke up. I dreamed I was Erika's college roommate. For some reason, we decided, at the ages we are now, to go back to college. We shared a room with about 6 other women, all of whom were "mean girls". Ugh. It was so crowded! And, my bunkmate would NOT let me have the lower bunk. Both Erika and I were miserable.

Worst of all, I forgot all my masks at home.

My New Tattoo

Last night in Dreamland, I got to meet Franklin D. Roosevelt! I was so excited to meet him--he was impressive as you might guess.

I didn't have a piece of paper to get his autograph, so I just handed him a marker and had him sign my lower back.

Then, I went and had the signature converted into a tattoo:

Looks good, huh?!

Congratulations Linda!

Congratulations to Linda (and Jim)! Last night in Dreamland, Linda had a baby boy! And I was caught off guard for sure--I didn't even remember that she was pregnant. Karen called with the news, and I rushed to the hospital in time to see that new baby. And to remark to Linda that she hadn't gained an ounce during pregnancy (yeah, I can be a little bitchy in Dreamland).

So, again--congrats to Linda (and Jim)--and at your age!