Election 2016

Last night in Dreamland, I got to see--and use--the 2016 Election Ballot.
Bad news:  it's about 60-70 pages long, and will take you at least an hour to complete. It's a multiple choice ballot, filled with tricky questions you must answer before getting to the candidate selection section.
Give yourself plenty of time to complete this test; the lines will be long.You will need to take a bathroom break for sure.
The good news? There are kittens and puppies available for cuddling, to lessen your test stress level.
And the other good news? The name "Trump" was nowhere on the ballot....

I Did NOT Have Sex With That Woman

Last night in Dreamland, my mom and I decided to ride our bikes across the Mass Ave bridge to visit all my relatives who were staying in a house on the other side. We got there, had a good visit, but when we went to leave, our bikes were laying out in 1000's of pieces. I told the very attractive bike-taker-aparter that she'd better get those bikes back together pronto!
She put them back together, but the frame was where the handlebars were supposed to be, so my mom couldn't ride the bike.
She went back into the relative's house, and I stayed behind to supervise the cute bike-taker-aparter. It started to rain, our pants got wet, so we took them off and put them in a dryer to dry off. My relatives came by and started giving me the stink eye because they thought I was trying to hook up with the bike-taker-aparter, but NO I WAS NOT.
Then Karen came, took one look at me, and left. Dammit.
Then the cute woman left. I swear.
Then I had to leave the bikes for a minute, to find Karen and explain about the wet pants and all. I locked them up, but when I came back (without Karen, who was still mad about nothing happened), one of the wheels on one of the bikes was gone.
I woke up. I thought about waking Karen up so I could apologize, but I waited until this morning. She still doesn't believe me.

Never Make Cookies When...

The message from Dreamland today is a cautionary one. Never--I repeat---NEVER bake cookies after hearing that Angelina Jolie is going to start working at the Library....as a librarian!
You will be so distracted, wondering, "WHAT?? Why on earth does she want to work at the Library?? Why on earth???", that you will mess up the cookie dough, the cookie bake time--everything about those cookies will be wrong.
Your Dreamland cookies will burn.
So don't do this in your Dreamland home.
You're welcome.

Stinking Rich!

Last night in Dreamland, I found out that our family owns property in South Dakota. Not only that, according
to the townspeople who know these things, there's a huge lake of oil under the property! Worth BILLIONS of dollars!
They called us all to an early morning meeting, and told us the news! I'm a multimillionaire!! Erika and Peter are multimillionaires!

My first thought was,
"I don't really want my life to change."
My second thought was, "I've got to set up a foundation to handle all those requests for money."
My third thought was, "I gotta do one thing for sure":

Going to Church

In Dreamland, my church still has recognizable membership, but the building is VERY DIFFERENT!
This morning in Dreamland, I entered through the stable doors, to check on the racehorses. My friend Chelsea was selecting a kitten from among the four in the litter birthed by the barn cat. She chose a calico one; I left before I could find out the name--I was afraid I would be late for church.
Being late was a big fear for me--I kept checking my watch, to make sure I would not be late for work after church. Then I would ask myself, "Do I go to work after church today??!" This scenario played on a loop through this whole dream, and I never figured out whether I was due at work later in the day.
But no worries! I could still eat while at church, because they were serving up corn dogs, hot dogs, and french fries from the industrial-size popcorn popper in the lobby. I tried to get in line, but before I could be served, the church service started--with Jason R singing, joined by a chorus of others. Even the horses quieted down for that...

I've Gone Pro

In Dreamland, I've been recruited to perform with a professional Unicycle Team. I've achieved this despite the fact that I've never been on a unicycle!
Book your tickets now for Russia, for that's where we--the US Professional Unicycle Team--is headed next.

Famous Fairies

Last night, I was busy compiling a list of famous fairies who had provided assistance to me in the past month (come on, you know YOU too call on fairies for assistance on a regular basis!). I added the list to Wikipedia, and imagine my shock (!) when I woke up this morning, fired up the Internets, and there it was, for everyone to enjoy. 

For some reason, Mimi the Fairy
(pictured--I Googled her, and she actually came up in "Images"! Dreams are so weird sometimes!) did not make the list. I was told that would happen.....

A Decree Went Forth

Last night in Dreamland, a decree was issued by Vice President Frank Underwood (guess who's watching "House of Cards"?), that ALL household pets were to be registered--every last dog, cat, and guinea pig. Not fish though. I guess he was searching for that perfect cat person for his next deed....
Sharpen your pencils. You've been notified.
Oh yes, and muffulettas only for breakfast.
That is all.

And Barack Obama!!

Last night, Dreamland took me to my parent's house, where I was helping them plan an anniversary party. We were going over the guest list, and when I got to the last name, my mom said, "And Barack Obama." I stopped, looked at her, and asked, "President Obama is coming to your anniversary party?" She just said, "Yes," and went on with the details. I sat there, dumbfounded, and repeated the question. "Yes, President Barack Obama," was all she would say. We talked about a convoluted game she wanted to play, which involved raffle tickets and naming creative websites, talked about how EVERYONE (and Barack Obama) had to put their cell phones in a big bowl. We went shopping for food, cleaned the house, and started raking the yard. Every time we talked about guests who had RSVPed, and those who had not, my mom's refrain was always, "...and Barack Obama...."
The day of the party arrived, the guests started coming in, and of course, I was still raking the yard. I watched as the guests dropped their cell phones in the bowl, and proceeded to play the game with ease.
     I looked up, and saw, through the window, my parents shaking hands and talking to....President Barack Obama!!! I started crying, and running around to everyone, saying, "Barack Obama! President Barack Obama is here!! Come on, let's go meet Barack Obama!" I ran into the house, and went to shake the hand of the president. I noticed he had on white glasses, and had yellow and green paint on his jaw, but oh my goodness, it WAS Barack Obama. I looked over at my mom, and said, "...and Barack Obama. Just a minute! I want to get my camera!"
I turned to grab my camera, and when I turned back around, Barack Obama was gone--the photo I got was my parents in the foreground, and through the curtains behind them, a blurry Barack Obama, running toward his black limousine.
Then, of course, I woke up. With, "and Barack Obama" echoing in my head....