"Here, Talk to Kiki"

Last night in Dreamland, Karen and I decided to visit our favorite brewery/restaurant out in the country. We drove the truck out, and met up with Alayne and Crystal. Karen ordered a beer, and I got in line to do the same (sure, she can get hers delivered to the table while I have to stand in line for mine!). I placed my order, and the bartender mumbled something about going outside to get it. Turns out I had to walk over to their new trailer delivery system, which was about a city block away. I got in line, and told them what I had ordered--a new Texas beer, which had a snake on the tap. I waited and waited. Alayne came up and joined me in line, but eventually she wandered off in search of a bathroom. Before she left, she explained they were now using a "dry draught" system, which meant the beer line was surrounded by salt. I waited some more--about a half hour in all--and watched Anna, Kate, Sue, Kathi, and some others leave the brewery (the place was so big, we didn't even know they were there!).
I decided this beer was never coming, so I went back to our table...only to find that nobody was there! They had all left--without ME! I called Karen, and she said, rather drunkenly, "Oh yeah, I came home." When I asked if she could come and pick me up, she said, rather absentmindedly, "Oh yeah. But here, talk to Kiki." She dropped the phone, and I'm not sure what happened next.
All I know is that I woke up really angry, and very thirsty.....

Scary and White

Last night in Dreamland, Katie and I watched "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" (in the real world, I feel guilty for not having read the book this summer for our book group). We were drinking White Zinfandel while doing so--if you know Katie and I, this was a nightmare all the way around.

Get Them While You Can!

Last night in Dreamland,  Sherry was having a sale of her memorabilia, including her red flip flop, which”she only used while driving”. I think Sherry was taking advantage of her new-found notoriety as a famous.....well, that part has been lost to the fog of waking.

Protesting and Making Friends

Last night in Dreamland, Karen and I went to Battle Ground to protest the treatment of immigrants at the border. Apparently, the border with Mexico is only 2 blocks from downtown Battle Ground! The things you learn in Dreamland....
We were joined by our friend Crystal, and we decided to make some signs.
Crystal struck up a conversation with another woman in the room, who turned out to be none other than Kate McKinnon! As they chatted, I took it upon myself to introduce Crystal to Kate, and even I knew that was absurd:  "Kate, I would like you to meet Crystal, and Karen....oh yeah, and since you don't know me, I'm Gale." She asked me about my RoadID, wondering if I was diabetic, and then turned quickly back to Crystal and Karen, who was so shy she couldn't speak! Sensing that I was too...friendly? Boring?...Kate kept talking to Crystal about farming, and to Karen about anything she would respond to. The three of them marched the two blocks to the border, leaving me to dash hither and yon to try to find them.
I hope Crystal and Karen appreciate my dream!

But It's For the Chickens!

Last night in Dreamland, Anna, Kate, and I traveled to the farm for a tour and a Craft Show. Usually I avoid "crafts" like the  plague, and this place was jam-packed with "crafts". But on the way out, something caught my eye...
It was a blue-glazed piece of exquisite pottery--a small opening on one side with another piece that lead to a large glass "enclosure" (think asthma inhaler that leads to a glass bubble). The opening was lined with beeswax and it was clearly meant to be hung. I just had to find out what it was for!
"Well," the proprietor explained, "have you ever smelled the beak of a chicken? It smells like alcohol, doesn't it? Chickens, through their pecking habits, collect alcohol on their beaks. They need to get rid of it, to stay healthy, so I invented a way for them to do that--they peck the beeswax, and it pulls the alcohol off and up into the glass bubble."
This would be perfect for Marie, I thought. Beautiful and functional! I grabbed one and checked the price. $50!!! Well, Karen does love Marie... I took a photo of this work of functional art and texted it to Karen.
And then I woke up.
Sorry Marie. I think your chickens will just have to find another way to deal with their alcohol problem....

Thank You for Being A Friend

When you're eight months pregnant and have to move from your third floor apartment (to a nice, spacious house!), you are grateful that there are friends who are willing to help. Julie came to help with boxes, and Linda and Sherry CLEANED OUT THE FRIDGE!!! Embarrassing to have them do it (it was really gross), but very much appreciated.
When I woke up, I told Karen:  "We are never moving again." I am pretty sure I'm not up for getting pregnant again either!

How Many Streets?

Last night in Dreamland, Elizabeth and Hannah came to visit. Our first stop was a boring place with tables but no hint of food (because we like to show our guests a good time!). Hannah said she wanted pancakes, so I immediately suggested Town and Gown (a place new to Elizabeth and with the best pancakes by far!). Elizabeth didn't know how to get there, so I offered to ride with her. Karen was off doing something (What? We were in the most boring place in town!), so I said I would text her to meet us there.
We got on our way, and to my dismay, all my phone would do was show "magical shots of Harry Potter". No other option.
We arrived just short of Town and Gown and Elizabeth spotted 9 Irish--she wanted to go there instead. I wanted pancakes by now, as did Hannah, so I convinced her to park and while we walked to Town and Gown I would convince her it was a better choice. We got out of the car and ducked into a nearby alley to escape the rain. The alley looked like this (not really, but also nothing like what is really there, not this): 

I was totally confused, and by this time we were starving, so we sat down in the middle of a courtyard to eat-not-pancakes (sad). Still no cell phone service that wasn't Harry Potteresque, so couldn't tell Karen where we were. Sorry, Karen.

Elizabeth pulled out a bag with three very nice statutes inside. As I opened each one, she said she noticed I had admired them last time we visited, so she bought all of them for me. Spent $150 on them! The statutes, of various sizes were all a variation one the one to the left. Nice, but notice something? All straight couples! I had to laugh. Wow. Nice.
I woke up laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Crazy phone, crazy streets, crazy directions, and beautiful-but-crazy gift.
Sorry Elizabeth and Hannah!

CNN and C-Span Regret...

Live from CNN:  "We regret to inform you that President Grover Cleveland has died. We repeat:  President Grover Cleveland is dead.
We send you now to C-Span, who is standing by with members of the Greg Allman Band...."

"C-Span is live with members of the Greg Allman Band, who are descendants of President Cleveland. They remember their great-grandfather with fondness, and are issuing a statement."

"CNN must interrupt the coverage from C-Span to take you live to the home of Cher, who is speaking now about her warm relationship with President Cleveland. Cher, as you may remember, was married to Greg Allman for a time."

"Again, CNN interrupts its' regularly scheduled programming with this breaking news:  former President Grover Cleveland has died."