But, as so often happens in Dreamland, there was a weirder event to follow a mostly "normal" one. This involved a giant gopher, not quite as big as the one to the left, but one that had some real boring skills--the holes left by this destructive rodent were perfectly round.
And that would have been amazing to watch, if the holes being made were not IN OUR HOUSE!!
I first noticed the cats acting strangely on the porch, anxiously watching a spot in the concrete. Before long, a perfect circle formed, and the gopher's head pushed up, leaving concrete and a whole lot of dirt in its' wake. The cats were no match for the animal and its' large teeth, but it was flustered enough to disappear. Moments later, another perfect circle in the concrete and another mound of dirt. I hoped beyond hope that it would disappear forever this time, and ran to get Karen to help me watch. When we came back, the worst had happened--the horrible thing had made a hole in the hardwood floor and was taking a nap on the sofa in front of the fireplace!!! (Wait! Fireplace?? I like this Dreamland house better!!!) I screamed obscenities, and it skedaddled back down the hole.
I watched in horror as floorboards moved as the burrowing started again.
If you are faint of heart, stop reading now.
I told Karen to get me a hammer. [Honestly, first, I asked for a bottle, but realized it's head would be way too hard for that to do much damage]. Another hole in the hardwood floor, and then...yes...I "done her in."
Stupid gopher.
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