Movie Yes, Davidson No

Last night in Dreamland, I had a terrific time with my cousin Patti. We went to a really small movie theatre--the screen was no bigger than our television at home, but the movie was good, the snacks were tasty, and the seating was....eclectic.

After the movie, we met Karen at a restaurant with outdoor seating. We were seated near the curb, and the streets were packed. Evidently, a beloved priest had died and was lying "in state" in the middle of the street; his funeral was going to take place any minute, and we were right in the middle of it all. Karen was wearing her favorite "Davidson" sweatshirt (I didn't know she was a Wildcats fan, but anything is possible in Dreamland!), which was apparently the worst thing to wear as bystander to a priest's funeral. Some guy came up to our table, and shouted, "I can't believe you're wearing a Davidson anything here! It's a disgraceful slap in the face to our dead priest over there!! Shame on you!!!"
We were stunned.
And then I woke up.
Puzzled.

Holy Moley Holey!

First, the good Dreamland event:  Kamala Harris came to John's house, and Linda P. and I were there--don't know where the rest of all y'all were, but you missed an awesome event.
But, as so often happens in Dreamland, there was a weirder event to follow a mostly "normal" one. This involved a giant gopher, not quite as big as the one to the left, but one that had some real boring skills--the holes left by this destructive rodent were perfectly round.
And that would have been amazing to watch, if the holes being made were not IN OUR HOUSE!!
I first noticed the cats acting strangely on the porch, anxiously watching a spot in the concrete. Before long, a perfect circle formed, and the gopher's head pushed up, leaving concrete and a whole lot of dirt in its' wake. The cats were no match for the animal and its' large teeth, but it was flustered enough to disappear. Moments later, another perfect circle in the concrete and another mound of dirt. I hoped beyond hope that it would disappear forever this time, and ran to get Karen to help me watch. When we came back, the worst had happened--the horrible thing had made a hole in the hardwood floor and was taking a nap on the sofa in front of the fireplace!!! (Wait! Fireplace?? I like this Dreamland house better!!!) I screamed obscenities, and it skedaddled back down the hole.
I watched in horror as floorboards moved as the burrowing started again.

If you are faint of heart, stop reading now.

I told Karen to get me a hammer. [Honestly, first, I asked for a bottle, but realized it's head would be way too hard for that to do much damage]. Another hole in the hardwood floor, and then...yes...I "done her in."
Stupid gopher.

Relaxing Weekend?

Last night in Dreamland, Kila, Marci, Peter, and I decided to rent a beach house for a relaxing weekend. We arrived to find a house that was jam-packed with stuff (bric-a-brac), but with a stunning view of the ocean, right on the beach. We had a great weekend. Until Sunday.

Sunday morning, we were relaxing before we had to pack and leave, when a man and a woman entered the house through the kitchen. We assumed, rightly so, that these were the owners. They looked surprised to see us still there, which annoyed me because we had until noon to leave! They grabbed some scuba gear, and left without much said to us. We packed, then decided to have breakfast at the local pub before getting our stuff out of the house and leaving.

We had a great breakfast, but overheard a few guys talking in the next booth. Turns out our "hosts" had a reason for grabbing that scuba gear--they were going to rob a bank of $30 million by entering the vault through an underwater tunnel!!

When we got back to the house, the robbery must have already taken place, because the house was packed! All of the "gang" were buff and mean-looking, including the men! We nonchalantly got our stuff, and my sister started "straightening up"--I guess she was worried about losing our security deposit?! I grabbed her arm and pulled her out the door.

We didn't seem to arouse suspicion, not even when we left in Marci's multi-level Partridge Family-esque bus!

Thank goodness I woke up. I didn't want to go to prison...again...not like two nights ago! But that's another story.

"Here, Talk to Kiki"

Last night in Dreamland, Karen and I decided to visit our favorite brewery/restaurant out in the country. We drove the truck out, and met up with Alayne and Crystal. Karen ordered a beer, and I got in line to do the same (sure, she can get hers delivered to the table while I have to stand in line for mine!). I placed my order, and the bartender mumbled something about going outside to get it. Turns out I had to walk over to their new trailer delivery system, which was about a city block away. I got in line, and told them what I had ordered--a new Texas beer, which had a snake on the tap. I waited and waited. Alayne came up and joined me in line, but eventually she wandered off in search of a bathroom. Before she left, she explained they were now using a "dry draught" system, which meant the beer line was surrounded by salt. I waited some more--about a half hour in all--and watched Anna, Kate, Sue, Kathi, and some others leave the brewery (the place was so big, we didn't even know they were there!).
I decided this beer was never coming, so I went back to our table...only to find that nobody was there! They had all left--without ME! I called Karen, and she said, rather drunkenly, "Oh yeah, I came home." When I asked if she could come and pick me up, she said, rather absentmindedly, "Oh yeah. But here, talk to Kiki." She dropped the phone, and I'm not sure what happened next.
All I know is that I woke up really angry, and very thirsty.....

Scary and White

Last night in Dreamland, Katie and I watched "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" (in the real world, I feel guilty for not having read the book this summer for our book group). We were drinking White Zinfandel while doing so--if you know Katie and I, this was a nightmare all the way around.

Get Them While You Can!

Last night in Dreamland,  Sherry was having a sale of her memorabilia, including her red flip flop, which”she only used while driving”. I think Sherry was taking advantage of her new-found notoriety as a famous.....well, that part has been lost to the fog of waking.

Protesting and Making Friends

Last night in Dreamland, Karen and I went to Battle Ground to protest the treatment of immigrants at the border. Apparently, the border with Mexico is only 2 blocks from downtown Battle Ground! The things you learn in Dreamland....
We were joined by our friend Crystal, and we decided to make some signs.
Crystal struck up a conversation with another woman in the room, who turned out to be none other than Kate McKinnon! As they chatted, I took it upon myself to introduce Crystal to Kate, and even I knew that was absurd:  "Kate, I would like you to meet Crystal, and Karen....oh yeah, and since you don't know me, I'm Gale." She asked me about my RoadID, wondering if I was diabetic, and then turned quickly back to Crystal and Karen, who was so shy she couldn't speak! Sensing that I was too...friendly? Boring?...Kate kept talking to Crystal about farming, and to Karen about anything she would respond to. The three of them marched the two blocks to the border, leaving me to dash hither and yon to try to find them.
I hope Crystal and Karen appreciate my dream!